Supplement Junkie

I bought another $50 in supplements today.  I think I’m done buying stuff for C to take, and I’m ready to start going through the books I’ve received from Amazon.  I do need to sit down and reveiw all the ingredients.  I think I can remove his B-complex, as it’s also in one of the supplement things I bought today.

Reportedly, he had a good day at school!  Though I’d love for his attitude towards S to improve.  Dramatically.  The whole talking back/throwing things/saying mean and hurtful things when he’s being disciplined… that’s really the worst part, in my opinion.  Regardless of how calm and collected I am (or not, truth be told), or how much he expected his consequences… *sigh*

I sprouted some grains!  I had planned to bake bread from the sprouts today, but C ended up in his room (I sure hope you can join us tomorrow, buddy!), and I promised to bake the bread with him. 

I’m looking forward to learning all the dietary suggestions.  I need to take good notes!  Also need to wait until after bedtime to begin, so I can concentrate!

Education and Career Planning

I’ve been applying for healthcare jobs I don’t yet qualify for (as part of the TAA process… they want you to prove you need training), and now I’m wondering if after I get this Master’s degree I shouldn’t look into also getting a BSN?  Seems like it would open a great many new doors.  Something to keep in the back of my mind.  Not sure how long that would take though.  I have a BA, so I’m assuming I’d need probably 3 extra years to cover the science I missed?  I guess we’ll see when I get there!  I’ve also thought about PharmD, but I think that would likely take longer than the BSN… I just need to be patient already… but I suppose it’s good to have a supplemental straw-man contingency plan.  :)  I’m all about plan B!

It ain’t getting any easier

So I got C some magnesium.  He’s now taking Flax Seed Oil, a B complex, magnesium, and fish oil.  Though I haven’t seen any real results.  In fact, the last week has been one of the worst to date.

I purchased some grains to sprout, and I think we’ll have enough sprout tomorrow to make bread with.  I’m going to continue on the “natural path” even though it seems to be NOT working AT ALL at the moment.  (I do still need to get some zinc).  At least this way when it comes time to look at meds, I’ll at least know I’ve tried other approaches first.

It seems to me that parents in “this place” need to make their own way in this medication decision.  At this rate, I’ll be surprised if we don’t medicate.  Perhaps the “natural help” can help keep the dosage lower than it might have been?  I guess we’ll see when we get there.  But I’ll tell you… this week has been rough.

He’s adorable, though, isn’t he?

School news

This must be triple post Wednesday, eh?

I received one more response to my email questionnaire from potential employers, bringing my total responses up to three!!!  YAY! 

I pinged my TAA counselor twice, attached copies of what I've done so far, and have not heard back.  BOOOO!

I put a reminder in to my third letter of reference only to find out that she sent in her letter, but the University system somehow lost it and now she has to start over.  BOOO (But YAY that she'd already sent one in).

Now I just need to sign up for a time to take the GRE test.  I haven't been studying, and I'm sure I won't study unless I have a hard stop.  This has been true for me in just about every aspect of my existence.  Procrastination: it's a way of life.  I have to manage it with a calendar and interpersonal responsibility.  Though I do have to say, I work best under pressure.  I never turned in a paper (not a good one) that wasn't started and finished the day before it was due.

Funny thing is that really bugs my husband.  He asked if I was going to "skate through" Grad school.  Uhhh, I got straight A's in undergrad.  "yeah, but you hardly studied, and you didn't work hard."  I have to say that working full time, going to school full time, being a mom to a 3 year old and pregnant with another is plenty hard work.  I don't learn from the books.  :)  I didn't "skate."  I earned those A's and that lovely gold bar on my diploma that says SUMMA CUM LAUDE.  So there.

...

Well, he's been home for all of an hour and a half, and I'm thinking there's no way this natural stuff is going to work.  It's been a trying hour and a half.  I'm ready for bedtime.

The first ADHD appt

So I took both boys to the ped's office for C's appointment.  That's always a fun ride.  I ended up keeping S quiet by feeding him halloween candy from my purse.  The backpack of toys and things to keep him busy didn't work.  At least I found something, and they don't eat candy all day, every day, right???

Well, back to the topic at hand... the pediatrician asked a bunch of questions regarding C's behavior and his moods.  Then she gave us two forms, one for the parents and one for the teacher to fill out.  The results should quantify whether or not he needs further evaluation to determine if he has ADHD (inattentive, hyperactive, or both), Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, or Anxiety / Depression.  We'll return the forms to the pediatrician, they'll make an appointment with us to review the results, and make referrals from there.

Because I'm a google nut, I looked at a form online, and determined that it's highly likely that he'll be referred for further evaluation on ADHD (combined inattentive and hyperactive), Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and Anxiety/Depression.  I'm anticipating a referral to a psychologist and some more testing and counselling. 

I'm still antsy about meds.  I have ordered a bunch of books off of amazon that I hope to get in the next week or so.  Books about diet and nutrition control of ADHD, visual-spatial learners, and right brainers.  I hope there's some nuggets in there to help us out so we can avoid medication.  Though I don't want to be so bullheaded as to not give him something he needs.  There has to be balance.  I guess it comes down to not being willing to give chemicals to my son to make anyone's life EASY, but I'll give them to him to make HIS life BETTER: to make the learning process  beneficial, to improve his relationship skills long term, to increase his self confidence.  If I can do this without meds, I'll be ecstatic.  If I can't, I'll medicate him.  I just want to try "natural" methods first.

Anyway, this is where we are at with the diagnosis process.  I'm still feeling ... "iffy" about it all.  I'm anxious to have a more solid direction.  I've never been comfortable with the enigmatic.

Tomorrow is D-day!

So tomorrow is the day the family has been waiting for these past couple weeks... the ADHD test. I should mention that I'm terrified.  Though I'm not sure why.  It's not like any diagnosis or partial diagnosis or anything will change anyone. 

So I've been giving C a tablespoon of flaxseed oil every morning, along with a B-complex and a supplement chaser (which includes catnip and turmeric).  I started this regimen Wednesday afternoon, and on Friday, C's teacher called and commented on how well he'd done that day, which was especially impressive as there'd been a sugar filled Halloween party that morning.  I'm hopeful the supplement routine will be helpful enough that I don't have to give him meds.

I ordered about five books from Amazon on the subject of ADHD and visual-spatial learners.  I'm excited to get them in the mail to firm up our family regimen.  From what I've read, a grain-free diet is also supposed to be beneficial for the ADHD.  I was on a grain free diet a year ago, and I've fallen off the wagon.  I'm thinking this time, the entire family will need to fall in line.  I've been researching how to make sprouted grain bread, and I need to make a trip to the hippie store to get started. 

TAA progress
So I have to contact three potential employers with a list of questions as a part of the requirements to get TAA funding for school.  I've called about 4 places and sent an email to five additional places.  So far, only one phone call has been helpful.  This part is not fun.  I'll have to ask the counselor for tips.  I've tried the approach of "Can someone spend about five minutes with me to answer some questions for a scholarship?"   All that's remaining for me to do is finishing the employer questionnaires and taking the GRE test.  Oh, and I need to study for the test.  I've not been doing so well on the study front. 

STRIKE THAT!!!  I just got one email response!  YAY!  One more survey to go!

Things I'm thankful for
I've been thinking about inserting some kind of regular feature for a while, and since I think I need to spend more time thinking about what my blessings are rather than just talking about problem solving (though honestly, I do generally enjoy solving problems... personality flaw, I guess), I am going to start ending my blog with focusing on what I am grateful for.

1. While I don't have a job, we are doing JUST FINE.  My husband and I worked hard to plan for this sort of event, and we really have no worries or financial stress.  We do have to cut back on the "fun" spending, but we are nowhere near losing our house, we have money left over after paying bills and buying (copious amounts of) food.
2. My boys.  Though this is probably very expected and generic, it's still true.  Parenting is a challenge.  Some days the word "challenge" is a woeful understatement.  But with increased challenge comes increased reward.  They are healthy, bright, and fun.  I get to watch them learn.  I get to be one of the few people they want and need affection from.  I'm a lucky gal.
3. Toys.  I have plenty.  Sure, I could call them "tools," but who am I kidding?  Computers are great, but I could use one at the library.  We have two in our house.  Two digital cameras, iPods, cell phones, TVs, a Wii... the list goes on.  We are spoiled with STUFF.  Have any of you all heard that the poorest 2% in this country are among the wealthiest 5% of the world?  Our homeless are wealthier than most of the population of the world.  With access to toilets and running water, even soup kitchens and other benefits... wealthier than most of the world.  Thinking about that is so very humbling.  Sometimes I get frustrated because I just don't have a spare couple hundred to buy some new, cute outfits for the boys (blessing #2), and I have to think about what they already have, what we already have, and how so many people all over the world don't even have access to a toilet or clean water.  I'll stop the pontification now, but it's worth a few mintues to think about...

When it rains, it pours

When I originally started this blog, I had intended to work through the difficulties of being laid off.  I think I'll expand on it now, especially seeing as there's not much to talk about regarding "living in the world of the formerly employed."  But I AM struggling with some parenting issues.  So I might as well write about those, and perhaps doing so will help me.  If I get some great advice along the way... even better!

ADHD
I'm sure every being in the northern hemisphere is familiar with the term.  It's a term often used to describe just about any misbehavior on the part of a boy.  It's also a real disorder.  I had thought we were living in the gray; our son can be so difficult and challenging.  Now the school is recommending he get tested.  I guess to be perfectly honest, I've been expecting we get this request since preschool.

I'm terrified to give him meds.  I don't say this to minimize or belittle anyone who does give their child ADHD meds, but I am terrified to alter my son's brain chemistry.  He's a brilliant child.  Objectively speaking, he's brilliant.  Would meds open up his brain or dull it?  Will they make him more susceptible to addiction in the future, or will they unlock more potential?  Are meds "the easy way out" or is my pride preventing me from helping him?  I suppose all these questions are normal for most parents as they approach this diagnosis.  (For the record, I'll drop dead of a heart attack from surprise if he is NOT diagnosed as ADHD).

Failure?
Mostly... today I feel like a failure.  I got my first COBRA insurance bill, parents in the neighborhood have spoken to us about our son's behavior, and I'm just generally feeling like a lump.  I failed enough professionally to be seen as expendible, it seems as if everyone hates my kid, and I'm not really rocking the housewife thing.

Dietary options
I've been researching the ADHD thing quite a bit the past month and came across Dr. Bob today.  I'm sure there are other like minded practitioners out there, but Dr Bob is the guy I found.  At any rate, he proffers a higher protein, sugar free diet with flaxseed oil.  His book was not available from my nearby Borders, so I'll oder it.  In the meantime, I've purchased the flaxseed oil and a couple other supplements he's talked about.  Can't hurt, right?  Another element of the diet/lifestyle is the elimination of trans-fats.

Prayers are appreciated
I know God is in control, and that things will work out just fine, but I'm having a hard time with the now.  Any prayers are very appreciated.