Cosmo - ‘Coon Hunter

Perhaps I should change Cosmo’s name to ‘Coon.  His middle name is Hunter.  It would fit. 

Tonight, as our bedtime strategy, I took Cosmo on a walk while the Woodsman settled Swing with a movie (the Sandlot… baseball, of course).  Separating the boys typically works best when they are overtired.

So Cosmo and I are walking the grounds of the resort.  It’s a very lovely place, and we feel fortunate to be able to stay here.  At any rate, there’s one building with the top set up for events.  It’s a nice place to view the pool and the ocean.  As we approached the rooftop, I spotted an animal on the ledge of the building.  I pointed it out to Cosmo.  It was cool!  So we get to the rooftop and peek over the wall onto the ledge about 3ish feet below, and there’s the animal—a raccoon, and he’s hissing at us.!  We’re pretty sure it’s a raccoon, anyway, because it could have passed for a prettified possum.  *shudder*  So we cross the rooftop and gaze out at the loveliness, and listen to the waves, the pool fountain, and crickets.  Until we realize the raccoon was brave (read: stupid) enough to jump over the wall/railing from the ledge to “greet us.” 

So we walk calmly and quickly off the rooftop onto the bridge to get back to the walkway. The animal followed us!  Kept following us.  So we started to run.  (I hear these things can be mean, and I have no intention of finding out, or letting my son find out firsthand).  Goofy thing wouldn’t leave us alone.  We ducked into the area deli, and watched it walk away a bit. 

So after we browse the deli (a little mini-mart sort of place in the resort), we decide we’re safe to head back to our room.  We see no sign of the blasted critter.  We turn up to get to our building, and there he is!  He was on a retaining wall, giving us dirty looks.  He was just above Cosmo’s head, and I thought for sure he was going to jump on him.  So we took a different path, and the darn thing follows us some more. 

I had Cosmo stop talking, and instructed him to walk fast and quiet so the animal couldn’t follow us.  That seems to have done the trick.  We got to our building, and the elevator door opened up just as we approached, no animal in sight!

Of course, when we get back into our room and report our safari adventure to The Woodsman, he does not believe us.  Clearly, there are no raccoons in this area.  And clearly, we are unable to identify an animal with rings around it’s eyes, three rings around its tail, and a cat-like body. He knows his animals.   He’ll see.  Though if I’m smart, I’ll put high stakes on the outcome.  :D

Mexico At Last!

We made it!  Oh, it’s heavenly.  The travel day was long, of course, as our closest airport is smaller.  We had to get up at 2am to catch a 5am flight.  We had three legs total.  The boys were angels.  I almost wondered who took my boys and replaced them with the pod children.  Swing did start to get antsy at the end of the third leg, but that was 10 hours in.  It was a relief, really; I knew 12 hours traveling was a LOT to ask of a 4 and 8 year old!

At any rate, we got here, and my parents were here to meet us!  We are so excited that they pushed out their leave date here (they were going to leave the day before we came in) so they could see us for a few days.  They were kind enough to go to the front desk of the hotel and pick our room for us (early), so we have a nice one.  The “better” ones go fast!  So we have a lovely balcony and are close to the pools and the “super deli.” 

It’s been hot.  I won’t complain, though.  It’s so nice to feel hot and get into a lovely pool.  It’s so relaxing to have fun with the boys and keep them so busy that they don’t have time to argue or whine.  The food is so tasty!  It’s such a hospitable country; the people are so friendly and helpful.  It’s really easy to be grateful and in a good mood when things are so easy (There are no chores)!

There’s lots of walking, too.  The first day I was wondering if I’d be crabby about it until I realized that I needed to be walking, anyway.  :D  The resort is spread out quite a bit, so even though we are close to the things we’d do at the resort, when we want to leave, we have to walk quite a ways to do so.  My legs are a bit sore just on the second day.  That’s good… I’m working hard enough to get sore, but it doesn’t feel like work when I’m doing it!

Anyway, it’s time to go to bed now.  I’m feeling really spoiled and really grateful right now to be at such a lovely place. 

Semester End Approaches! Things Are Good.

I am nearly done with my first semester of school.  I’m so excited!  I’ve learned quite a bit… more than I even realize.  Last night in class, the instructor gave us a “quiz” where he’d throw us chocolate if we answered a question right.  I knew most of the answers!  I didn’t realize how much information I’d retained!  This gives me some hope for the final!

So tonight I have a group presentation, and next week is one final exam.  Then we’re off to Mexico!  I cannot believe it!  One down, four to go!

This time last year, I was working 8-5 and had no idea that my world would be turned upside down and I’d be finishing a semester in school a  year later.  It’s a good path.  It’s a miracle, really.  I feel like I have more recognition here in school than I did in my previous position.  I have so much more opportunity.  I’m seen; a year ago I was invisible. 

I have  a lot of work ahead of me.  My family will have to work for this, too.  But I have a fantastic family.   I’m willing to work and so are they! 

It’s feeling so good to look back and see the change in direction here.  I started this blog to work out the negative emotions surrounding my layoff, and now I have nothing but positive attitude about it.  (though I’ll admit, I sometimes wonder if my tasks are being done “as well” by someone else). 

In order to be here, in school, in this TAA program (funding), I had to be laid off 8 years ago: my job had to be sent overseas to qualify for this education program.  I had to get my bachelors at my last job, and I had to be laid off again to qualify for unemployment and TAA.  All those “bad” things had to happen to me.  Here I am today, looking at a career I’m excited about, taking classes I enjoy, about to start my first internship in a new industry…

Things are good.

Magnet School for Cosmo?

So, it would seem as if the clouds are clearing and the skies are turning blue.  A school in our area is becoming a magnet school for science and math!  It’s about a mile further away than Cosmo’s current school.  So the Woodsman and I are talking about applying for a slot there.

Cosmo’s not so sure.  He has “lots” of friends where he’s at.  I think he’s afraid of starting over when he (now) has a couple of kids that are nice to him sometimes.  But I’m thinking he’s … he’s a different kid.  He talks differently, thinks differently, and of course, the behavior problems that have vastly improved (but still need some work).  He talks and thinks differently because he’s exceptionally bright (I say this at risk of sounding like one of THOSE moms… but it’s true).  I’m hoping/thinking a school designed to attract kids more “like him.” 

We’d be responsible for his transportation, though.  The mornings would be no problem.  The afternoons are a different story, since my classes all start at 4pm about an hour away.  The aftercare program runs until 6pm, so that would be iffy if the Woodsman had a late shift at his store.

At any rate, I was feeling badly about sending him to “that” school again next year.  (I love the teachers, loathe the administration).  The main questions now are whether or not to push it when Cosmo says “no” and how to handle the evening logistics. 

My Birthday

I’ve taken another trip around the sun!  I’m 29!  *wink*

I took some pictures of my darlings in the morning.  Boy, was it windy!  In the evening, we went out for dinner.  Though we didn’t factor that it was PROM.  So our two first choices were out: Olive Garden and the new Texas Roadhouse.  Chilis it was. BONUS!  No wait!  HA!  It was an hour (add 20% to that for the prom factor) wait at the Olive Garden.  So I had ribs and one of their fantastic margaritas.  We took dessert home.  Perfect.  No cake that I kinda like but feel obligated to have, no cooking, cleaning, and the boys were good.  :)

Anyway, I’ll terminate the banter.  I know you all just want to look at my handsomes, and I want to hear all about how adorable you think (know) they are!

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The Taming of the Shoe

So I woke up yesterday to this:

It would seem as if the Woodsman was not enamored with the large number of shoes we had stored in the baskets below the entry table, and he laid all the shoes in the house out to make a point.  Most of those are mine.  But to be fair, there were a few of the boys’ shoes not represented,  AND many of mine were stored in the garage just outside the door.

Nonetheless, I was tasked with culling the shoes.  No small feat (pun intended… besides, I wear an 11.  HA!).  These are my shoes:

I’m going to argue (successfully) that the slippers are NOT shoes.  But subtracting those from the count, I still have 28 pairs there.  Now, I’m no Imelda Marcos, but that’s still a lot of shoes.  I did manage to chuck 6 pairs, which brings me down to a total of 22 pairs of shoes.  There’s a nice variety there, don’t you think?  Though I had to toss my black flip flops last year, and I was in need of new ones, so I found a  pair of those (plus a “bogo half” pair of pointy-toed kitten-heeled slippers).  SSsshhhh, don’t tell the Woodsman!

Though to his credit, there are a lot of shoes in the “immediate use” area, and I’ll be getting some containers to store the shoes I use less often, and perhaps a large container for out of season shoes.  The Danskos I love, but I’ll be wearing them much less now that it’s warmer!

Oh, snore.

I wish I was.  But alas.  I’m attempting, yet again, to cure insomnia with blogging.  It works well enough, plus there’s no morning grogginess. 

Partly I’m awake because I’m thinking about Cosmo and his social problems, partly because I turned in my first graduate paper today, and instead of being relieved, I’m worried that it’s not good enough.

School

I even sent my paper to my mom in a pre-emptive attempt at bolstering my confidence in my abilities.  It was partially successful (my mom is my biggest fan), but I still don’t know what the instructor will think.  Alas.  It will be weeks, and I need to just forget about it already.

I am an A student.  I have this obscene fear that I’ll get a B.  Really, is that so bad?  What is my deal?  I have had panic attacks over grades before.  It’s absurd.  I am not proud of it.  Part of me is glad I’m driven to excel and learn, but really?  This level of obsession is just not healthy.  I’m hoping I’ll feel more comfortable next semester when I’ve gotten more into the groove of knowing more what is expected.

Cosmo

No interesting developments with Cosmo today.  Other than I saw him ride his scooter sans helmet ON the splash pad.  No wheels allowed there, and he broke that rule.  The splash pad has been vandalized already by skateboarders who “grind” on the bench and who have damaged the lovely paint job.  So he’s grounded from it for a month.  Repeat offenses.  Plus, we’ll be on vacation for two weeks, so it’s not really THAT hefty a fine.

To sum it all up…

I’m thinking I’ll sleep better when I learn to give up my illusion of control.  This is why my mind whirls and thoughts spin around like a mental tornado in the wee hours.  I have faith, I do… but it’s more about my fears of inadequacy than about not ACTUALLY having control.  Did I do it right?  What will other people think?  Really, Amy… get over it.

Now that I know what my problem is, I need to find a solution that will work and implement it.  HA!  easier said than done.

Note to self: take tissues to the park

The mommy gig is exhausting.  I thought taking the boys to the park would have been a highlight of the day.  Notsomuch. 

There was a group of boys playing.  Cosmo went to join in a game of tag.  One of the boys gave him a menacing glare and said, “you get out of here.”  So he pretended not to really care, and went over to another area to play by himself. 

I tried not to.  Really hard.  But that just made the tears come harder.  Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses.  *sigh*

I’m proud of him, though.  He found something else to do.  He didn’t cry or throw a tantrum.  Then he came and sat with me for a while.  He sat with me at the park last time we went, too.  Now I understand why.  This is why he always takes some form of wheels.  So he has something to do when the other kids won’t play with him.  He can’t find his helmet, by the way, so no wheels.  So he sits with me. 

He pretended he wasn't hurt.  He’s a good actor. Is that good or bad??

It’s just soul crushing to watch him work so hard on his manners and social skills and continue to be ostracized by other kids… and even their parents.  It’s hard to see this fledgling life that is so important to me be so unimportant to others, so much as to be disregarded them.

He has improved so much! 

The Woodsman wants to move when I get my degree.  I’ve been telling him that I’m not eager to move, and I want to look for work nearby.  If things don’t change, I’m sure my opinion will.  Maybe the best thing for Cosmo is to find some place where people never knew him before the meds.

I have a thousand words to write for a paper tonight.  I thought I was distracted before.  Oy.  How on earth am I going to keep my mind on “Pay for Performance?”  I’m hoping writing will help alleviate my mind.  Maybe it will make me less crabby?  How can I be so crabby when my son went through the same thing??  *deep breath*