Please like me. See how this letter is a genius blend of professionalism and personality? I’m an amazing catch for a student (at least I’m supposed to say so in a manner that comes off as confident, but not arrogant).
I don’t have experience in this field, which is why I’m seeking an internship. I’d write about all of my fantastic experiences for you if I had any. But alas. So let me charm you with tales from my past; I have chosen to highlight information that is supposed to seem relevant and desirable to you.
My career aspirations are to rule the world; however, this is A) unlikely, B) not in your control and C) may be career limiting insight, so I’ll provide you with aspirations that are slightly under your position so that I don’t come off as overly ambitious (and therefore threaten your ego), but ambitious enough to prove that I’ll work hard and not play mahjongg all day (since Facebook is blocked).
Thank you for reading this letter and looking at my resume. I hope you have found me to be as charming and intelligent as I intended. [insert polite smile here]