Midterms—CHECK!

Before I return to the subject of my continuing education, I’d like to ponder this: how many blogs out there are powered by insomnia??

Midterms are done for this semester.  I survived!  There’s a REASON this blog is so spotty.  There are weeks where I barely get up for air.  But it’s all good!  Busy learning!  It feels good to be half done!

My folks are on vacation in a warm, sunny place.  Sounds nice.  Though the days have been beautiful here… high 50s into the 60s, sunny, colorful.  But laying on the beach while people bring you beverages and guacamole that’s straight from the Hand of God… sounds tempting.

The boys

Cosmo

Cosmo’s good!  He’s so “enlightened.”  He was saying something about his brother the other day and how Cosmo had “a lot more life experience” than Swing.  It was all I could do to keep from exploding with laughter.  He was a handful while the Woodsman was out hunting.  Kids thrive on structure… even a small rift has such a big impact!  My kind, helpful boy seemed to somehow return with his father, even though his body never left…

We had quite a good time tonight thinking about birthday treats.  Someone in his class had a birthday today, so we were talking about it.   Last year, we packaged up some veggies in gift bags and Cosmo went to give those out for birthday treats as a gag before he handed out the ACTUAL treats.  This year, he thought it might be fun to hand out random canned food type items.  You know, a package of taco seasoning, a can of garbanzo beans, a can of green enchilada sauce… He’s at a new school, so it would be a fresh gag.  We’ll figure something out.  He’s pretty excited about it.  2 months will be here before we know it!

Swing

Swing is … still a charmer.  He’s no dummy.  He knows how to turn on the charm to get his way.   I’d like to say he’s not as effective as he’d like to be, but I’m pretty sure I’m just deluding myself.  I think he’s the preschool teacher’s favorite.

The days have been pretty nice here, and we’ve had a couple picnics at the park.  One day, I was scrambling to get schoolwork done before class.  I wen to pick him up from preschool with plans of setting up a date with Swing and Nick Jr so I could finish, but he said to me “It’s such a nice day mom, it’s perfect for a picnic in the park!”  How could I say no to that???  So we packed up some food, I grabbed my homework, and he played while I briefed health law cases.  I also discovered that we live close enough to the park to still be connected to wifi.  How cool is that??

The Woodsman

The Woodsman just got back from his second and last hunting trip.  He did his best to keep the number of days down so that he could have the best of both worlds… being able to hunt with his lifelong friend, and being here to make sure I had everything I need to go to school.  He did a good job.  :) 

We have a new pet

Before I go, I should share our new pet with you all.  He’s orange, and fuzzy, and the boys were quite excited about our new addition:

If I’ve googled effectively, he’s a cat faced spider.  And no, my dear sister, we did NOT BUY it.  He was free.  A “gift” from God, if you will.  He just showed up.  He’s HUGE.  He’s gone now, which I’m not disappointed about.  He was outside, so I didn’t want to hurt him… besides, you can’t really squish something with that large of a body.  Well, you can, but I’m certain there would be unpleasant consequences.

Swing’s in a Sling!

My poor boy broke his collarbone.  It’s not broken all the way through, but it’s definitely broken. 

He was running through the living room pushing a laundry basket and “lost control around a corner” and hit the ottoman.  He cried so hard, I was pretty sure he was really hurt right away.  But I had him lay down for a bit and he slept… but he woke up crying.  When he walked out of his room and his one shoulder looked like a ski slope, we left for the urgent care center right away.

Funny thing is… the group project I whined about (immediately below) was regarding the profitability of a hypothetical urgency care clinic. 

Anyway… he’s in a sling, and he’s doing pretty well.  Though it’s strange to see him not be able to use one arm.  He gets around differently, and we need to help him with some things. 

I always knew that we’d end up with broken bones at some point (since we have boys) but did it have to be the 4 year old?  Well, maybe that will keep them both from running indoors for a week or two?

Like it or not, life keeps coming… full speed ahead!!

Group Projects

Group projects are pretty much universally loathed by college students everywhere.  There is a reason for this.  Occasionally, the beleaguered student will happen upon a relatively painless group project.  I do not know why this happens; I believe pain is deliberately designed into these projects as a means of weeding out the weak.

I’ve decided to compile a well thought out list of why people hate group projects.

The classmate with KIDS.

This classmate (in this instance, me…) NEVER seems to have time to work on the project, and you end up having to wait for his/her portion to get done.  And then it’s not right, so you have to wait again.  At that point, you aren’t thrilled with his/her work, but you have to suck it up since s/he took up all of the calendar time “taking care of kids.”

Leader Chicken. 

Everyone has different ideas about how to make the thing work.  Roughly one-third of your time spent on the project revolves around deciding who is going to cave to the will of another.  It’s like a geeked-out version of chicken, only instead of involving a mode of transportation and the fear of a wreck, it involves “leader rights” and the fear of running out of working time.

Bossy McNaughtboss.

Invariably, there is a passive aggressive member of the group who doesn’t play chicken.  Too aggressive.  Not passive enough.  This member generally loses out on the leader gig, and isn’t pleased.  So s/he compensates by doing the least amount of work, trying to assign work to others, and complaining about the work s/he didn’t do.  This student was designed to be a union leader.   I’m not working on a Master’s in AFL-CIO.

Over-collaborator.

Afraid of making other teammates cranky, this one is always looking for validation.  Just do it already, and we’ll make it work.  Constant requests for “does this look okay” slow the rest of the group down.

Rubric Schmubric

“The instructor’s guidelines are good enough for HIM, but I like it better this way.”  Hey, dipwad… the PhD types aren’t exactly well known for small egos and being “schooled” by their students.  Feel free to jury-rig the format on your own grade, eh?

Last Minute Perfectionist

An intense project has been turned in, and the blood pressure has cooled down to somewhere just below “geyser”, only to be repeatedly called by a teammate who decides the work is not done correctly.   This is generally a role taken on by Bossy McNaughtboss.  It’s turned in.  It’s done.  There’s no more talking about this.  It’s time to vacuum.  And shower.  And not brain for 20 minutes. 

Any others?  I’m sure you all (all 2 of you) have a group project that haunts you to this day.  Do share!

Oversensitive!

So the boys have been having fun playing with the new neighbor’s boys.  It’s been great!  I’ve been so excited and relieved to have found a pretty good match for them, especially since Cosmo has had difficulty maintaining friends in the neighborhood.  Seems the kids (and their parents) don’t want to get to know him now that he’s on meds.

At any rate, they were playing yesterday, and were fighting (like all kids do), and one of them told Cosmo “my dad doesn’t like you.”

Since school started, they haven’t been able to play as much, and I was suddenly worried that we were going to have the same result with these neighbors.  Seems that’s where my  mind defaults anymore.

A phone call cleared it all up, however.  Holy relief!  See what happens when you don’t worry, and you wait to talk about it?  Lesson learned.

School is busy

So I’m pretty much struggling to find oxygen this semester.  Between being PRESENT with the boys when we’re all home, household duties, and homework… I don’t have much time to have my own thoughts in my head.  Thankfully, I do have downtime after class to “de-brain.”  I’ll watch an hour or so of TV before hitting the hay.  I’m pretty much done after class gets out. 

This semester I have 5 classes; next semester I’ll have 3, and no LAW class.  Hopefully that will make life so much easier!  I do like law, don’t get me wrong… there’s a lot of reading and writing involved, though.

I did have an interesting conversation with a couple classmates, though.  When people ask what I “do,” I tell them “I”m a student.” Then, I feel frustrated when they assume I’m going to a community college.  (Silly pride, I know).  I feel guilty, somehow, telling people that I’m a grad student, as I don’t want to be self-aggrandizing… but then I have the lame-o pride thing (because people in school should just be proud of themselves regardless!). 

They told me I should tell people “I’m working on my master’s.”  I suppose this is true.  There’s no reason for me not to be proud of it, and then I won’t have the silly pride problem.

The real question is “Why would I rather have people think less of me than more of me?”  I always minimize my skills, knowledge, and talent, for fear of coming off as a braggart.  And because, somewhere in my head,  I figure I’m SO good that it should just be obvious.  I guess this is something for me to ponder while I’m re-engineering myself. 

Fall is here!

The Woodsman turned 40 on the first day of fall.  He spent his birthday holding down the fort while I was at school studying and in class.  He’s so good!  We’ll celebrate tomorrow, when we can all be together for dinner (and dessert)!

So we’re now in the time of year where there is less daylight than there is dark.  It’s silly to be bummed, I know… but that’s the ONE part of fall that I don’t love.  If I could set the timer on the sun, I’d turn it on at 6am, and turn it off at 7:30pm.  “Up” where we are on this globe, we will have sunsets at about 4:00 pm, dark at 4:30.  Swing’s birthday is the shortest day of the year; the winter solstice.  Two members of this family are equinox/solstice people!

Anyway, nothing terribly exciting here, except for what’s in my head!  I’ll leave you with this awesome photo of the boys… they made these super duper toilet paper pumpkins today!  I got the idea from my friend, Carla http://hoagy74.blogspot.com/2010/09/toilet-paper-pumpkins.html

The Impenetrable Pooch

Okay, I have no idea what this REALLY means.  It’s what Cosmo called the dog the other day.   He’s 8.  I asked him “What does impenetrable mean, honey?”  He says, “you know, like indestructible.” 

Oy.  Where does he get these words?

I asked him “where did you learn that one?” He points to his head with an exasperated look and says “Smart.”

Preschool Love

Swing seems to have a girlfriend at PreK.  There’s a little girl who cries and won’t let her mom leave if Swing isn’t there.  As soon as Swing walks in the room, she’s fine and tells her mother curtly “you can go now.”

Will the shoe drop?

Things seem to be going pretty smoothly this week!  I’m wondering if this is a calm before the storm??  Or do we get a peek at a “normal” life?  Right now I’m grateful that homework isn’t a war, MY homework is current (not as far ahead as I’d like, but hey, I’m not running late), Swing is doing great at school (he’s saving the tantrums for home—he BIT me tonight at bedtime!), and we are figuring out our routine.  It’s pretty peaceful (but not creepily so). 

Am I really this fortunate?  I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything spectacular to learn it…

Late Start Mondays

So our school district implemented a new policy.  Late start Mondays.  The purpose for starting an hour late every Monday is to allow teachers a chance to get together and collaborate.  This is a FANTASTIC idea!  It’s quality improvement at its finest, and I’m honestly geeking out about the process.

However. 

I am NOT so fond of the way in which it’s been implemented.  Why why why does the routine of every single family in the county have to be disrupted by an hour per week?  Granted, they do offer childcare … for a fee, and minus the transportation.  Additionally, Kindergarten is in its own building, not with the elementary schools, so families with a child in kindergarten and a child in another grade will either have to make arrangements at work to go in later (and keep the bus), or drive kids to multiple destinations before work (for a fee) to keep some semblance of routine and normalcy.

There was no parent or community voice in this decision.

Why can’t this be done before or after school hours?  Why must every family with a child enrolled (in the state mandated school system) have to cater to a wonky schedule?  There is no other occupation in the world that can do this to thousands of people.  Submit to these hours or suffer the consequences!!!

I understand there are all sorts of demands on teachers.  I really really do.  But this solution to implement a super idea is flat!  My (highly scientific and statistically significant) research (via Facebook) indicates this is happening across the country. Though many teachers are underpaid, the fact remains that … it’s a salaried position.  I worked more than 40 hours, too, when I was employed, and I didn’t get summers off.  Granted, licensure requirements for continuing education, etc, likely get in the way, and add demand to teachers’ time.  Can’t we find a way to allow this collaboration effort to fill a CE requirement?  What better way to learn than from other teachers!  There must be some way to allow this time to the teachers without such an impact on the community. 

Chances are fair that there’s a teacher or two out there unhappy about my post.  (I’d claim there were more, but I’m fairly certain this corner of the web doesn’t get too much traffic).  I don’t mean to be abrasive, but honest and forthright in a real issue with real impact.  Granted, my weekly hour with its logistical complexities isn’t on the level of homeland security or global hunger… but it is one more frustration and one more thing to juggle on top of:

• My homework
• Cosmo’s homework
• Getting Swing to PreK
• Getting Cosmo to 3rd grade
• Getting the boys to the sitter before school
• Remembering Cosmo’s meds in the morning
• Remembering Cosmo’s meds in the afternoon
• Making dinner
• Feeding the pooch
• Keeping track of the Woodsman’s retail schedule
• More of my homework
• Realizing I neglected to read two articles before class (and there’s a QUIZ)
• Pulling something out for dinner
• Making sure the boys’ teeth are brushed

All these things I run off in a checklist in an order every morning.  When the routine is interrupted, the entire checklist is interrupted.  I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person alive who operates this way.  I should be able to “run on autopilot”.  Late start Mondays strip me of that.

*steps off of soapbox*

Monkey-ing with Meds

One of the purposes of this blog is to share my experiences with ADHD.  We’ve gone through a few revisions of medication in the last couple months. 

In May, we started on Strattera, which is a non-stimulant med.  It started off working pretty well.  I was excited that we might be able to manage this thing without the dreaded class II narcotics.  At the end of the summer, it became clear that it wouldn’t be enough.  Cosmo was still unable to focus on simple tasks, and I’d have to ask him repeatedly to pick one thing up, it would take HOURS. 

So at the last med evaluation, the pediatrician started him on Adderall, a “stronger” stimulant, and we discussed the possibility of using smaller doses of both stimulant and non-stimulant meds.  Well, the Adderall worked well for focus and general behavior, but Cosmo could not fall asleep, even though I’d given him melatonin and Benadryl. 

So I tried combining spare Strattera with the Adderall like the pediatrician had mentioned.  Worked well.  I called, got a refill on the Strattera, and we’re good to go!  He gets the stimulant in the morning, and the non-stimulant after school / at dinner time.  He’s sleeping, focused, and well behaved (well, you know, NORMAL for an 8 year old).

School

The BEST part?  Cosmo got into the science magnet school in our area!  So he has a class full of people who didn’t know him “before.”  And the meds are working well… and he’s making friends!  He said to me (like it’s a whole new world) “Mom, I feel like I’m PART of the CLASS!”
It’s heartbreaking, really.  To know that the previous three years of your child’s life were spent wanting to fit in, wanting to be wanted.

Camp

Which brings me to something I’ve been avoiding.  Cosmo went to church camp this summer.  I was so happy for him, even if I was a bit nervous.  But I knew he’d be able to make friends, since he was on meds, etc, right?

He was bullied the entire time.  Ruthlessly.  By his cabin mates.  He did have fun when he was not in his cabin, which is good.  But … the other kids threw him in the garbage several times, put him in some big tire, and surrounded it and wouldn’t let him get out, took almost all of the candy his grandmother had sent with him, tore took some of his money, tore up a dollar bill, threw his toiletries into a field where they couldn’t be found, put sand in his sleeping bag, and more torture I can’t remember off the top of my head. 

When I talked to the cabin counselor about it, the response was “He brought it on himself” and “it’s really not a big deal.”  Cosmo called the other boys names, streaked through the cabin, and made it messy when they were supposed to clean it. 

I know his behaviors weren’t okay.  But that doesn’t somehow absolve the other boys from their bad (worse) behavior.  Cosmo’s behavior gets progressively worse in a negative atmosphere.  He didn’t bring it upon himself, they brought it upon themselves!  … Okay, not really, but you see how circular the whole blame game gets? 

At any rate, we’ve written two messages to the elders at church, which have been unanswered.  We’ll go in in person sometime this week to talk to someone.  Meanwhile, we aren’t attending.  I can’t leave my kids in a place where the leaders think it’s an acceptable policy to allow kids to “earn” torture.

UPDATE!!! Since posting this a couple hours ago, I got a phone message from the church!  I'll make arrangements to speak with the leader of the children's ministries as soon as I talk to the Woodsman and share the message with him.  The person who called was apologetic and sincere, so I'm hopeful!

UPDATE!!! Since posting this a couple hours ago, I got a phone message from the church!  I'll make arrangements to speak with the leader of the children's ministries as soon as I talk to the Woodsman and share the message with him.  The person who called was apologetic and sincere, so I'm hopeful!