Note to self: take tissues to the park

The mommy gig is exhausting.  I thought taking the boys to the park would have been a highlight of the day.  Notsomuch. 

There was a group of boys playing.  Cosmo went to join in a game of tag.  One of the boys gave him a menacing glare and said, “you get out of here.”  So he pretended not to really care, and went over to another area to play by himself. 

I tried not to.  Really hard.  But that just made the tears come harder.  Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses.  *sigh*

I’m proud of him, though.  He found something else to do.  He didn’t cry or throw a tantrum.  Then he came and sat with me for a while.  He sat with me at the park last time we went, too.  Now I understand why.  This is why he always takes some form of wheels.  So he has something to do when the other kids won’t play with him.  He can’t find his helmet, by the way, so no wheels.  So he sits with me. 

He pretended he wasn't hurt.  He’s a good actor. Is that good or bad??

It’s just soul crushing to watch him work so hard on his manners and social skills and continue to be ostracized by other kids… and even their parents.  It’s hard to see this fledgling life that is so important to me be so unimportant to others, so much as to be disregarded them.

He has improved so much! 

The Woodsman wants to move when I get my degree.  I’ve been telling him that I’m not eager to move, and I want to look for work nearby.  If things don’t change, I’m sure my opinion will.  Maybe the best thing for Cosmo is to find some place where people never knew him before the meds.

I have a thousand words to write for a paper tonight.  I thought I was distracted before.  Oy.  How on earth am I going to keep my mind on “Pay for Performance?”  I’m hoping writing will help alleviate my mind.  Maybe it will make me less crabby?  How can I be so crabby when my son went through the same thing??  *deep breath*