The Debt Ceiling

Jack and Jill just bought a house. They make $50,000 per year. Fortunately, they found the perfect home. It has:

1. Five bedrooms: a master for the two of them, one for each of their three children, and a guest suite for their many unexpected guests.

2. An indoor swimming pool. Jill is trying to lose weight, and an indoor pool is a convenient alternative to a gym membership. Because they are in a northern climate, it needs to be indoors so it can be used in the wintertime.

3. A spacious home office: Jack is trying to start his own business (and rejuvenate the economy), so he’ll need sufficient office space to do so

4. A 5 car garage. In the future, they’d like to have room for a boat. Plus, they each have a car, and two of their children are driving age, so they’ll need their own space, too.

5. A professionally landscaped yard, 20 acres worth. Jill likes to garden; it’s therapeutic. Plus, a large yard is healthy for the children.

The cost of this home? $2.2 million.

Today their mortgage is due, but they don’t have the money to pay it. A crisis is looming! Clearly, their credit limit needs to be raised. You see how it is not possible to reduce spending to bring debt back under control, right?!!! Surely you don’t want this family of 5 to go without a roof over their heads, or take away Jill’s health plan, or Jack’s small business!

It’s all good.

I’m at a healthcare executive conference.  It’s quite awesome.  Conferences generally get me jazzed up.  But I’m more than professionally and academically jazzed.  It’s bigger than that.  My future’s so bright, I’ve got to wear shades!

I do have a problem, though.  I need to decide my future / focus.  I was thinking the CIO track might be the way to go… where IT and Lean collide.  Providing efficiency and effectiveness on a strategic and systemic level.   Or I could focus on strategy and growth.  It’s really a good problem to have.

My program has been so supportive of me (and all my classmates).  I know they care about our futures.  It’s so different than the world I exited nearly two years ago.  A world where I had to fight to be perceived as valuable.

But it’s not just my program that’s interested and supportive…it’s the executives I’ve met thus far.  During conversations, I might proffer some idea… and they LISTEN.  And they tell me I should talk to [this guy].  But they LISTEN.  I’m not dismissed.  Was my world really that broken?  I’m thinking it was.  But I’m not going to mourn what could have been, because if I had what could have been, I’d be missing THIS.

This is a field to be passionate about.  A field undergoing dynamic, rapid, meaningful change.  A field that positively impacts so many every single day.  And though I know I’m not called to be a practitioner of medicine… I can make the delivery of that care more cost effective.  I can make it more comfortable.  I can have an impact that MATTERS.

So yeah.  I’ve held positions in toxic, abusive locations.  But it’s all good.  I’m here.

I don’t care about teachers

Okay… I don’t mean it like it sounds.  Not really.  But who’d read a post titled “Education reform and priorities”?  Me, neither.  I’ll warn you, some of my ideas are not going to be popular.  I don’t want to be the person who only says things that are popular.  That’s not what leaders do.  Do keep in mind, however, that I have plenty of close friends and family in the field of education.  While I am not I primary or secondary school educator, I am an educator.  I teach adults Lean Six Sigma for a state college.  Not exactly the same thing… but I’m no ignoramus, either.

I think our priorities are wrong.  All messed up.  They’re a bowl of spaghetti… mixed in with a few scant other noodles and plenty of meatballs.  I’m a fan of a “little” book called “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.”  One of my biggest takeaways from that book was the very basic idea of “KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING.”  Seems so simple, yet us human types are very easily distracted by extraneous politics.

So I don’t care about how much teachers are paid, what licensure requirements are from state to state and if they include master’s degrees.  I don’t care about teacher unions or collective bargaining. I care about the kids.  More specifically, I care about my sons.

FOCUS ON THE KIDS.  Teacher pay… what is the level of pay that will attract and retain qualified instructors?  That is what teacher pay should be.  Currently, the national average for teacher salary is $50,000.  That’s fair…in an area with a cost of living index somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.0 (average); it follows that pay should be commensurate with cost of living.  Teachers often bristle at the reminder of the 180 day work year (plus a few CE and prep days)… but it is one of the benefits of being a teacher, and it should be considered.  I used to work at a place with a gym.  That was cool.  Not as cool as summers off, but it should be considered as part of my (past) benefits package.

Teaching isn’t a job that will get you rich.  Everyone knows this.  If the pay makes you crabby,  you’d be wise to find a different occupation.  People do this every year.  Did you know that the nursing profession has a very high turnover rate?  Nurses, who are arguably paid VERY well (for the privilege of dealing with less than charming individuals and 12 hour shifts with scant (or no) restroom privileges).  They leave the profession.  They decide the pay isn’t worth it, and they find a different job.  The best engineering manager I’ve had the privilege of working for had a BS in Forestry Management.  It happens.  A teaching certificate is not a guarantee of employment any more than my diplomas and certificates are for me.

I’ve read arguments that since teaching requires a master’s degree, they should make more than the $50,000 average.  And some teachers have PhDs, therefore they should make six figure incomes. I’ve read the FB post flying around about how if teachers were paid minimum wage, they’d be making hundreds of thousands per year, because they’d get paid per child.  Perhaps I’m just a party pooper… but that post is illogical.  People don’t get paid a wage multiplied by a unit (be it a widget or a customer or a student) in any profession.  A PhD is not some income multiplier by default.  I know plenty of PhDs in more lucrative fields that don’t make anywhere near six figures.  If the guy at Starbucks brewing up my skinny grande hazelnut latte has a PhD, that doesn’t mean he should be making 6 figures, either.   I don’t need a cardiologist to look at my annual labs to tell me that my cholesterol levels are healthy.  Any job has a required skill set, and the pay for that skill set is $X.  Based on the PhDs I know… I’m also thinking that I don’t want a PhD teaching my kids.  Their heads work differently.  This doesn’t mean there are no PhD types suited for education in a primary/secondary classroom setting… but by and large they don’t.

It’s about the kids.  What is the value that will attract and retain individuals with the hard and SOFT skills to mold my children? 

In Idaho, the legislature is considering a few moronic measures, one of which is to cut kindergarten.  The other is to greatly increase class size and give every student a laptop. Moronic.  Honestly, I don’t care if teaching jobs are lost.  I’ve been laid off twice.  It happens to the best of us.  The test for rightness and wrongness isn’t about the fairness to the teachers.  It’s about the fairness to our children and our community.  How do the children and the community benefit from the absence of kindergarten?  The legislators responsible claim that kindergarten is a glorified daycare, and is only for lazy parents.  I take all sorts of umbrage to this.  Studies show (and I’m too lazy to look them up… for now) that kindergarten greatly improves overall education outcomes, and that full day kindergarten has a greater positive impact at graduation.  Studies also show that school districts save money with full day K, as the midday bus run is a huge finance drain… but I digress.

Increasing class size to give kids laptops is insufferably moronic.  Not because 700 teachers might loose their jobs, but because the class size increase proposed is absolutely detrimental to the quality of education.  45 kids in a room is … nuts.  The priority with this proposal is not about increasing the quality of education (or even maintaining it through a cutback including a technology implementation), but it’s about the utter hubris of one elected official.  Put him on the MAP!  Idaho gives kids computers!  … so what?

In Wisconsin, the nation watches as the debate over union contracts grows increasingly heated.  Over teacher contracts.  Over asking people to pay into their own retirement and their own health benefits. Did you know that healthcare expenses rise 16% every year, while all other industry averages a 2.5% to 3% inflation rate?  The rest of us suck it up.  What is so offensive about the idea that public employees follow the employment trends of the rest of industry?  Certainly it’s worth a conversation.  It doesn’t hurt the kids, and it benefits the community.

It would seem as if a lot of the controversy is regarding the “pay for performance” aspect of the proposal.  Granted, at first face, pay for performance sounds like a super idea… but the only real way to measure teacher performance is with standardized testing.  Don’t get me wrong… I’m a big fan of “you can only improve what you measure (~Lord Kelvin)” but I also see how my nine year old comes home with homework centered around test performance.  I don’t want him go graduate high school skilled only in knowing which circle to fill in with the #2 pencil.  I want him to be a critical thinker.  I do realize that a lot of that is on me as a parent… but critical thinking should be inherently built in to all of education.  IF the PhDs in education (see… I do think they have a purpose) can find another way to measure teacher performance, I’d be all over this.  And again… it comes back to the MAIN THING… what’s best for our children and our community?  There has to be a balance between measuring teacher performance and teaching strategy.

As for pay cuts… why shouldn’t teachers experience the same cut in pay that the rest of industry has in the last few years?  Now… before you get all crabby on me… let me finish my thought.  The rest of industry also pays leadership based on performance.  This includes CEOs, the C-suite, and upper level managers.  Generally, these positions are paid handsome bonuses if particular performance measures are met.  This would translate into Governors, Congress, and high level public employees.  Leadership also takes greater pay cuts, and they take those pay cuts FIRST.  I think this same model should be followed in education (and in state legislation).  I have never been able to fathom why lawmakers hack away at safety and education spending as one of the first lines of business when it comes to saving money. KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING!  Education and Safety come FIRST… not in budget cutting, but in priority.   Pay the superintendent based on the overall performance of the state education.  I wonder how education policy would change?  I wonder how overall public policy would change if the public sector was forced to align more with industry and business in terms of financial policy.

KEEP THE MAIN THING THE MAIN THING. 

WHAT’S BEST FOR OUR CHILDREN?

KIDS BEFORE TEACHERS, KIDS BEFORE POLITICIANS

AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW

The Weekend in Bullets

• Bonus!  Trip to Costco!
• Double Bonus! Shapeups at Costco for $49
• Triple Bonus!  They had some in size 11! (This NEVER happens)
• Took the pooch for a walk,  The sun broke out for one day (it was splendid).  Poor old man can only do one loop (half mile).
• Missed Swing’s well-child visit
• Cosmo had Friday off
• Got homework done.  At Starbucks (YAY) where a woman wore so much perfume that you couldn’t smell coffee (BOO)
• Swing has a cold.  And is crabby.
• Had fun with Cosmo and his new Microscope.  Brine shrimp are growing!
• This cold and soggy has got to go.  The boys are going insane indoors.  Not sure who will win the race to insanity… them or me.
• Slept in.  Snuggled with sniffly Swing.
• Discovered Cosmo has eaten two containers of chocolate frosting over the course of 3 days
• Reminded my mother how lucky she is that her children NEVER talked back to her.  Or fought.  Or broke or lost expensive games / toys.
• Swing shared his cold with me.
• Papa Murphy’s deLite pizzas are good.  Plus, I don’t have to cook or do dishes.

Internship Cover Letter

Dear Preceptor,

Please like me.  See how this letter is a genius blend of professionalism and personality?  I’m an amazing catch for a student (at least I’m supposed to say so in a manner that comes off as confident, but not arrogant).

I don’t have experience in this field, which is why I’m seeking an internship.  I’d write about all of my fantastic experiences for you if I had any.  But alas.  So let me charm you with tales from my past; I have chosen to highlight information that is supposed to seem relevant and desirable to you.



My career aspirations are to rule the world; however, this is A) unlikely, B) not in your control and C) may be career limiting insight, so I’ll provide you with aspirations that are slightly under your position so that I don’t come off as overly ambitious (and therefore threaten your ego), but ambitious enough to prove that I’ll work hard and not play mahjongg all day (since Facebook is blocked).

Thank you for reading this letter and looking at my resume.  I hope you have found me to be as charming and intelligent as I intended. [insert polite smile here]

Regards
Amy

Midterms—CHECK!

Before I return to the subject of my continuing education, I’d like to ponder this: how many blogs out there are powered by insomnia??

Midterms are done for this semester.  I survived!  There’s a REASON this blog is so spotty.  There are weeks where I barely get up for air.  But it’s all good!  Busy learning!  It feels good to be half done!

My folks are on vacation in a warm, sunny place.  Sounds nice.  Though the days have been beautiful here… high 50s into the 60s, sunny, colorful.  But laying on the beach while people bring you beverages and guacamole that’s straight from the Hand of God… sounds tempting.

The boys

Cosmo

Cosmo’s good!  He’s so “enlightened.”  He was saying something about his brother the other day and how Cosmo had “a lot more life experience” than Swing.  It was all I could do to keep from exploding with laughter.  He was a handful while the Woodsman was out hunting.  Kids thrive on structure… even a small rift has such a big impact!  My kind, helpful boy seemed to somehow return with his father, even though his body never left…

We had quite a good time tonight thinking about birthday treats.  Someone in his class had a birthday today, so we were talking about it.   Last year, we packaged up some veggies in gift bags and Cosmo went to give those out for birthday treats as a gag before he handed out the ACTUAL treats.  This year, he thought it might be fun to hand out random canned food type items.  You know, a package of taco seasoning, a can of garbanzo beans, a can of green enchilada sauce… He’s at a new school, so it would be a fresh gag.  We’ll figure something out.  He’s pretty excited about it.  2 months will be here before we know it!

Swing

Swing is … still a charmer.  He’s no dummy.  He knows how to turn on the charm to get his way.   I’d like to say he’s not as effective as he’d like to be, but I’m pretty sure I’m just deluding myself.  I think he’s the preschool teacher’s favorite.

The days have been pretty nice here, and we’ve had a couple picnics at the park.  One day, I was scrambling to get schoolwork done before class.  I wen to pick him up from preschool with plans of setting up a date with Swing and Nick Jr so I could finish, but he said to me “It’s such a nice day mom, it’s perfect for a picnic in the park!”  How could I say no to that???  So we packed up some food, I grabbed my homework, and he played while I briefed health law cases.  I also discovered that we live close enough to the park to still be connected to wifi.  How cool is that??

The Woodsman

The Woodsman just got back from his second and last hunting trip.  He did his best to keep the number of days down so that he could have the best of both worlds… being able to hunt with his lifelong friend, and being here to make sure I had everything I need to go to school.  He did a good job.  :) 

We have a new pet

Before I go, I should share our new pet with you all.  He’s orange, and fuzzy, and the boys were quite excited about our new addition:

If I’ve googled effectively, he’s a cat faced spider.  And no, my dear sister, we did NOT BUY it.  He was free.  A “gift” from God, if you will.  He just showed up.  He’s HUGE.  He’s gone now, which I’m not disappointed about.  He was outside, so I didn’t want to hurt him… besides, you can’t really squish something with that large of a body.  Well, you can, but I’m certain there would be unpleasant consequences.

Swing’s in a Sling!

My poor boy broke his collarbone.  It’s not broken all the way through, but it’s definitely broken. 

He was running through the living room pushing a laundry basket and “lost control around a corner” and hit the ottoman.  He cried so hard, I was pretty sure he was really hurt right away.  But I had him lay down for a bit and he slept… but he woke up crying.  When he walked out of his room and his one shoulder looked like a ski slope, we left for the urgent care center right away.

Funny thing is… the group project I whined about (immediately below) was regarding the profitability of a hypothetical urgency care clinic. 

Anyway… he’s in a sling, and he’s doing pretty well.  Though it’s strange to see him not be able to use one arm.  He gets around differently, and we need to help him with some things. 

I always knew that we’d end up with broken bones at some point (since we have boys) but did it have to be the 4 year old?  Well, maybe that will keep them both from running indoors for a week or two?

Like it or not, life keeps coming… full speed ahead!!

Group Projects

Group projects are pretty much universally loathed by college students everywhere.  There is a reason for this.  Occasionally, the beleaguered student will happen upon a relatively painless group project.  I do not know why this happens; I believe pain is deliberately designed into these projects as a means of weeding out the weak.

I’ve decided to compile a well thought out list of why people hate group projects.

The classmate with KIDS.

This classmate (in this instance, me…) NEVER seems to have time to work on the project, and you end up having to wait for his/her portion to get done.  And then it’s not right, so you have to wait again.  At that point, you aren’t thrilled with his/her work, but you have to suck it up since s/he took up all of the calendar time “taking care of kids.”

Leader Chicken. 

Everyone has different ideas about how to make the thing work.  Roughly one-third of your time spent on the project revolves around deciding who is going to cave to the will of another.  It’s like a geeked-out version of chicken, only instead of involving a mode of transportation and the fear of a wreck, it involves “leader rights” and the fear of running out of working time.

Bossy McNaughtboss.

Invariably, there is a passive aggressive member of the group who doesn’t play chicken.  Too aggressive.  Not passive enough.  This member generally loses out on the leader gig, and isn’t pleased.  So s/he compensates by doing the least amount of work, trying to assign work to others, and complaining about the work s/he didn’t do.  This student was designed to be a union leader.   I’m not working on a Master’s in AFL-CIO.

Over-collaborator.

Afraid of making other teammates cranky, this one is always looking for validation.  Just do it already, and we’ll make it work.  Constant requests for “does this look okay” slow the rest of the group down.

Rubric Schmubric

“The instructor’s guidelines are good enough for HIM, but I like it better this way.”  Hey, dipwad… the PhD types aren’t exactly well known for small egos and being “schooled” by their students.  Feel free to jury-rig the format on your own grade, eh?

Last Minute Perfectionist

An intense project has been turned in, and the blood pressure has cooled down to somewhere just below “geyser”, only to be repeatedly called by a teammate who decides the work is not done correctly.   This is generally a role taken on by Bossy McNaughtboss.  It’s turned in.  It’s done.  There’s no more talking about this.  It’s time to vacuum.  And shower.  And not brain for 20 minutes. 

Any others?  I’m sure you all (all 2 of you) have a group project that haunts you to this day.  Do share!

Oversensitive!

So the boys have been having fun playing with the new neighbor’s boys.  It’s been great!  I’ve been so excited and relieved to have found a pretty good match for them, especially since Cosmo has had difficulty maintaining friends in the neighborhood.  Seems the kids (and their parents) don’t want to get to know him now that he’s on meds.

At any rate, they were playing yesterday, and were fighting (like all kids do), and one of them told Cosmo “my dad doesn’t like you.”

Since school started, they haven’t been able to play as much, and I was suddenly worried that we were going to have the same result with these neighbors.  Seems that’s where my  mind defaults anymore.

A phone call cleared it all up, however.  Holy relief!  See what happens when you don’t worry, and you wait to talk about it?  Lesson learned.

School is busy

So I’m pretty much struggling to find oxygen this semester.  Between being PRESENT with the boys when we’re all home, household duties, and homework… I don’t have much time to have my own thoughts in my head.  Thankfully, I do have downtime after class to “de-brain.”  I’ll watch an hour or so of TV before hitting the hay.  I’m pretty much done after class gets out. 

This semester I have 5 classes; next semester I’ll have 3, and no LAW class.  Hopefully that will make life so much easier!  I do like law, don’t get me wrong… there’s a lot of reading and writing involved, though.

I did have an interesting conversation with a couple classmates, though.  When people ask what I “do,” I tell them “I”m a student.” Then, I feel frustrated when they assume I’m going to a community college.  (Silly pride, I know).  I feel guilty, somehow, telling people that I’m a grad student, as I don’t want to be self-aggrandizing… but then I have the lame-o pride thing (because people in school should just be proud of themselves regardless!). 

They told me I should tell people “I’m working on my master’s.”  I suppose this is true.  There’s no reason for me not to be proud of it, and then I won’t have the silly pride problem.

The real question is “Why would I rather have people think less of me than more of me?”  I always minimize my skills, knowledge, and talent, for fear of coming off as a braggart.  And because, somewhere in my head,  I figure I’m SO good that it should just be obvious.  I guess this is something for me to ponder while I’m re-engineering myself. 

Fall is here!

The Woodsman turned 40 on the first day of fall.  He spent his birthday holding down the fort while I was at school studying and in class.  He’s so good!  We’ll celebrate tomorrow, when we can all be together for dinner (and dessert)!

So we’re now in the time of year where there is less daylight than there is dark.  It’s silly to be bummed, I know… but that’s the ONE part of fall that I don’t love.  If I could set the timer on the sun, I’d turn it on at 6am, and turn it off at 7:30pm.  “Up” where we are on this globe, we will have sunsets at about 4:00 pm, dark at 4:30.  Swing’s birthday is the shortest day of the year; the winter solstice.  Two members of this family are equinox/solstice people!

Anyway, nothing terribly exciting here, except for what’s in my head!  I’ll leave you with this awesome photo of the boys… they made these super duper toilet paper pumpkins today!  I got the idea from my friend, Carla http://hoagy74.blogspot.com/2010/09/toilet-paper-pumpkins.html

The Impenetrable Pooch

Okay, I have no idea what this REALLY means.  It’s what Cosmo called the dog the other day.   He’s 8.  I asked him “What does impenetrable mean, honey?”  He says, “you know, like indestructible.” 

Oy.  Where does he get these words?

I asked him “where did you learn that one?” He points to his head with an exasperated look and says “Smart.”

Preschool Love

Swing seems to have a girlfriend at PreK.  There’s a little girl who cries and won’t let her mom leave if Swing isn’t there.  As soon as Swing walks in the room, she’s fine and tells her mother curtly “you can go now.”

Will the shoe drop?

Things seem to be going pretty smoothly this week!  I’m wondering if this is a calm before the storm??  Or do we get a peek at a “normal” life?  Right now I’m grateful that homework isn’t a war, MY homework is current (not as far ahead as I’d like, but hey, I’m not running late), Swing is doing great at school (he’s saving the tantrums for home—he BIT me tonight at bedtime!), and we are figuring out our routine.  It’s pretty peaceful (but not creepily so). 

Am I really this fortunate?  I’m pretty sure I haven’t done anything spectacular to learn it…

Late Start Mondays

So our school district implemented a new policy.  Late start Mondays.  The purpose for starting an hour late every Monday is to allow teachers a chance to get together and collaborate.  This is a FANTASTIC idea!  It’s quality improvement at its finest, and I’m honestly geeking out about the process.

However. 

I am NOT so fond of the way in which it’s been implemented.  Why why why does the routine of every single family in the county have to be disrupted by an hour per week?  Granted, they do offer childcare … for a fee, and minus the transportation.  Additionally, Kindergarten is in its own building, not with the elementary schools, so families with a child in kindergarten and a child in another grade will either have to make arrangements at work to go in later (and keep the bus), or drive kids to multiple destinations before work (for a fee) to keep some semblance of routine and normalcy.

There was no parent or community voice in this decision.

Why can’t this be done before or after school hours?  Why must every family with a child enrolled (in the state mandated school system) have to cater to a wonky schedule?  There is no other occupation in the world that can do this to thousands of people.  Submit to these hours or suffer the consequences!!!

I understand there are all sorts of demands on teachers.  I really really do.  But this solution to implement a super idea is flat!  My (highly scientific and statistically significant) research (via Facebook) indicates this is happening across the country. Though many teachers are underpaid, the fact remains that … it’s a salaried position.  I worked more than 40 hours, too, when I was employed, and I didn’t get summers off.  Granted, licensure requirements for continuing education, etc, likely get in the way, and add demand to teachers’ time.  Can’t we find a way to allow this collaboration effort to fill a CE requirement?  What better way to learn than from other teachers!  There must be some way to allow this time to the teachers without such an impact on the community. 

Chances are fair that there’s a teacher or two out there unhappy about my post.  (I’d claim there were more, but I’m fairly certain this corner of the web doesn’t get too much traffic).  I don’t mean to be abrasive, but honest and forthright in a real issue with real impact.  Granted, my weekly hour with its logistical complexities isn’t on the level of homeland security or global hunger… but it is one more frustration and one more thing to juggle on top of:

• My homework
• Cosmo’s homework
• Getting Swing to PreK
• Getting Cosmo to 3rd grade
• Getting the boys to the sitter before school
• Remembering Cosmo’s meds in the morning
• Remembering Cosmo’s meds in the afternoon
• Making dinner
• Feeding the pooch
• Keeping track of the Woodsman’s retail schedule
• More of my homework
• Realizing I neglected to read two articles before class (and there’s a QUIZ)
• Pulling something out for dinner
• Making sure the boys’ teeth are brushed

All these things I run off in a checklist in an order every morning.  When the routine is interrupted, the entire checklist is interrupted.  I’m pretty sure I’m not the only person alive who operates this way.  I should be able to “run on autopilot”.  Late start Mondays strip me of that.

*steps off of soapbox*

Monkey-ing with Meds

One of the purposes of this blog is to share my experiences with ADHD.  We’ve gone through a few revisions of medication in the last couple months. 

In May, we started on Strattera, which is a non-stimulant med.  It started off working pretty well.  I was excited that we might be able to manage this thing without the dreaded class II narcotics.  At the end of the summer, it became clear that it wouldn’t be enough.  Cosmo was still unable to focus on simple tasks, and I’d have to ask him repeatedly to pick one thing up, it would take HOURS. 

So at the last med evaluation, the pediatrician started him on Adderall, a “stronger” stimulant, and we discussed the possibility of using smaller doses of both stimulant and non-stimulant meds.  Well, the Adderall worked well for focus and general behavior, but Cosmo could not fall asleep, even though I’d given him melatonin and Benadryl. 

So I tried combining spare Strattera with the Adderall like the pediatrician had mentioned.  Worked well.  I called, got a refill on the Strattera, and we’re good to go!  He gets the stimulant in the morning, and the non-stimulant after school / at dinner time.  He’s sleeping, focused, and well behaved (well, you know, NORMAL for an 8 year old).

School

The BEST part?  Cosmo got into the science magnet school in our area!  So he has a class full of people who didn’t know him “before.”  And the meds are working well… and he’s making friends!  He said to me (like it’s a whole new world) “Mom, I feel like I’m PART of the CLASS!”
It’s heartbreaking, really.  To know that the previous three years of your child’s life were spent wanting to fit in, wanting to be wanted.

Camp

Which brings me to something I’ve been avoiding.  Cosmo went to church camp this summer.  I was so happy for him, even if I was a bit nervous.  But I knew he’d be able to make friends, since he was on meds, etc, right?

He was bullied the entire time.  Ruthlessly.  By his cabin mates.  He did have fun when he was not in his cabin, which is good.  But … the other kids threw him in the garbage several times, put him in some big tire, and surrounded it and wouldn’t let him get out, took almost all of the candy his grandmother had sent with him, tore took some of his money, tore up a dollar bill, threw his toiletries into a field where they couldn’t be found, put sand in his sleeping bag, and more torture I can’t remember off the top of my head. 

When I talked to the cabin counselor about it, the response was “He brought it on himself” and “it’s really not a big deal.”  Cosmo called the other boys names, streaked through the cabin, and made it messy when they were supposed to clean it. 

I know his behaviors weren’t okay.  But that doesn’t somehow absolve the other boys from their bad (worse) behavior.  Cosmo’s behavior gets progressively worse in a negative atmosphere.  He didn’t bring it upon himself, they brought it upon themselves!  … Okay, not really, but you see how circular the whole blame game gets? 

At any rate, we’ve written two messages to the elders at church, which have been unanswered.  We’ll go in in person sometime this week to talk to someone.  Meanwhile, we aren’t attending.  I can’t leave my kids in a place where the leaders think it’s an acceptable policy to allow kids to “earn” torture.

UPDATE!!! Since posting this a couple hours ago, I got a phone message from the church!  I'll make arrangements to speak with the leader of the children's ministries as soon as I talk to the Woodsman and share the message with him.  The person who called was apologetic and sincere, so I'm hopeful!

UPDATE!!! Since posting this a couple hours ago, I got a phone message from the church!  I'll make arrangements to speak with the leader of the children's ministries as soon as I talk to the Woodsman and share the message with him.  The person who called was apologetic and sincere, so I'm hopeful!

The Ninth Anniversary

I was at work.  The Woodsman and I worked 12 hour days then, for a Fortune 100 company, making printed circuit assemblies for test and measurement equipment.  We started at 6am.  One gal came in talking about a plane that had crashed into one of the twin towers in New York.  I thought it had to have been some random accident with a small plane. 

I was compiling a quality report.  I had my radio on quietly.  I had to get the report ready for an early morning review of issues in the last 24 hours.  Status report—quality engineering.  I hear the news on the radio that a second plane had flown into the other tower.

I knew at that moment we were under attack.

All the TVs at work were tuned to the news.  I watched the towers fall, heard the thunk-thunk-thunk of jumpers (before the news media had the good sense to stop airing it).   I know I’ll never forget.  It was traumatizing enough through the TV, I cannot imagine being there.

I was about 7 months pregnant with Cosmo at the time.  I spent weeks wondering what kind of world I was bringing a child into.   The stock market was shut down… the entire economy came to a screeching halt.  Our world changed on that day.  The threat is still there, hanging out, waiting for us to get comfortable.  Laughing at our Airport Security Initiatives, planning, plotting.

No use living in fear, however.  Besides, I know where I’m going when my time comes.  There’s nothing to be afraid of.  “They” can’t take that away from me.

Audio Textbooks?

Anyone know where I could get them?  Holy moly, there’s so much reading this semester… and I have 40 minutes to and from school.  I’m thinking life would be so much better if I could use my time in the car to listen to what I should have read earlier.  Plus, I’m lazy. 

Okay, I’m not REALLY lazy, I just have a lot of other things to do that distract me.  You know, like grocery shopping and laundry.  And paying attention to the adorable little faces in my home.

Speaking of adorable little faces, school is going well so far!  Cosmo is 2 days in, and is glad he changed schools.  He told me yesterday that “he feels like part of the class.”  He says this like it’s a whole new world, and part of me is sad for him...three years on the outside, looking in.  I’m glad he’s where he is now, though!  I’ll do whatever I have to to keep it going so well!

Swing continues to do well in preschool.  He really enjoys it.  He’s not quite getting the letters yet, though.  I hope the concept starts to come to him soon! 

The boys are so different!  Cosmo was able to read well before Kindergarten… though he didn’t like to, so it was hard to get him to do it.  Swing… just needs lots more repetition to get the letter thing.  He’s more interested in how things work.  And in instigating trouble with his brother. 

Polishing Silver

I cleaned my china cabinet last night.  It’s a lot of work – so much glass to clean!  Plus, I’m a horrible klutz, so I’m always afraid I’ll break something.

There’s something nice about touching all of the pieces I have, though.  The china is my mom’s; she bought it in nursing school before she met my dad.  We used that china every holiday growing up.

I rearranged my Lenox pieces: my cake topper from my wedding, a Noah's ark from my parents, and a couple pieces from Aunt Lorraine.  I washed all of my little serving bowls, all of them from family.  My teacups, also from family.  I love the teacups.  One day I’ll identify them all.

I also polished my Gram’s silver service.  It was a 25th anniversary gift from her siblings.  I’m not sure if it’s from just before I was born or just after… but either way, the service set is more than 30 years old.  I can still see it in her china cabinet.  The pinochle cards were kept nearby.  :)  She taught me to play pinochle.  We spent HOURS, and I never did get a hand with any meld that evening.  I remembered spending time at Gram’s in the summer with my family at the lake (she had a lovely place on a lake).  A few years, I’d get to stay behind with Gram while my family went home.  Polishing that silver was like spending an evening with Gram again.  I miss her.

Anyway, cleaning that cabinet out was a chore, sure.  But it was also a way to reconnect with lost family.  It was a good evening.

Back to school!

It’s Thursday!  Last day of my school week.  First week back.  The workload is intimidating and exciting!  Next week, Swing starts pre-K; the following week, Cosmo starts the 3rd grade! 

I think the return to school will be good for all of us.  The boys have started to drive each other (and ME) crazy.  They are bored of the park.  Can you believe that?  It was a fantastic place to go for quite a while, though.  Swing will love pre-k, and I’ll have some time to study.  (or that is the plan).  I’m looking forward to the predictability of routine again. 

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Guess who forgot to post?  ROFL!  Well, school’s been keeping me busy, that’s for sure!  Five classes. 13 credits… I can do it!  It will be nice when the Woodsman is back from hunting tomorrow.  He wasn’t gone long, but he’s such an enormous help and support with school… I really miss him when he’s gone.

Swing loves preschool!  He’s been doing great!  He’s making friends, and is doing a good job following directions.  It’s a relief, really.  Sometimes the ADHD thing makes me wonder if I’m crazy and I’m just really not doing things right.  Knowing that the same techniques that haven’t worked on Cosmo DO work on other kids… it’s a strange relief.

Cosmo starts back Tuesday!  We are so excited; he got in to a Science Magnet school nearby!  He loves science!  LOVES it!  I’m hopeful that a “new start” will be good for him socially, and that the focus on science will benefit him academically.

We’ve changed meds again.  Back to the stimulants.  Bigger guns this time.  The hope is that the “stronger” medicine will help him on a lower dose so he can sleep at night.  So far it’s looking like we’ll have to go with part stimulant and part non-stimulant so he can focus and sleep.

I’ll close with this… kinda defines life right now…

Amy the Intern

Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve written anything!

So I’ve been interning at a local Community Health organization; I’m documenting one of their IT processes—drawing process maps and writing procedures.  It’s pretty interesting work.  I’ve been working about 3 days per week, 6 hours per day.  Gosh, if only I could keep that schedule forever!  It’s been nice to have plenty of time at home, and still have time to interact with adults. 

They like me.  It feels really nice to feel like I’m contributing something, and to feel like part of a team.

Though interning is a bit weird.  The relationship building is different when you know you are only going to interact with people for a few weeks. 

I’m learning something I’ve always known… the quality / process improvement activities are low priority in a lot of people’s minds.  I’m not sure that I’d like to continue a career in process improvement.  I think I’d like to explore other avenues of leadership and bring my process improvement skills with me, but not as the primary purpose of my position.

Granted, I know every position has its challenges, but I do prefer feeling like people think my position is vital as opposed to a nuisance. 

I’m learning a lot.  Not so much about office politics and how things work (like I’m thinking many of my younger classmates are), but I’m listening (overhearing) IT service desk calls, and hearing how different applications support the operations, getting a feel for how the healthcare specific elements fit into a regular business structure.  I hear terms used in context, etc. 

All in all, things are good!  I’m pretty much living the charmed life… without the disposable income.  LOL

Stone Island

We toured Stone Island today.  Was very nice!  We really enjoyed the tour; it was the perfect thing to do at the end of a longer vacation when the boys are getting “bored” of the pools and  beach.

The boat ride in was nice.  It’s been a while since I’ve been on a boat.  I liked the gentle rocking, and also enjoyed the dolphins and sea lions.

Iguanas.  Every little boy’s dream.  Swing was afraid to hold one when we had the opportunity, but then wished he had.

We got the boys ink’d… I didn’t really like Cosmo’s dragon, but he’s in love with it.  At least Swing went for a lizard in a more “little boy” style!

We rode horses when we got there.  That was fun, too.  The boys have never been on a horse.  Cosmo has been on a donkey, but that’s not really the same thing.  Swing rode with me, and the Woodsman and Cosmo had their own caballo (horse).  Bummer, there’s only one shot of horseback riding…

Lunch there was great.  Some of the best food we’ve eaten here, really.  Then we went on a “buggy” ride.  Looking back, I should have let Cosmo ride the yellow banana boat, but I was nervous that the boat would go fast, on the ocean, with a group of mainly college aged kids.  He had fun, anyway!

Check out the buggy ride… the wooden chair cracks me up, but really, it’s the Mexican Spirit! They don’t need fancy, they just want something that gets the job done!

Finally, a few pictures of the living conditions.  Next time I complain about not having a large enough closet or storage for all the junk I’ve amassed, I’ll have to come back and look at these:

Swing Swims!

I’m so proud of my little boy!  Less than a year ago, he was a terrified, clingy octopus when we came NEAR the water.  Since then, we’ve taken him to swimming lessons (he didn’t “pass” the level one/two for the toddlers), and I took him to the pool at the gym pretty regularly.  Took him a while to swim in the deeper water in a floaty suit, but once he got used to it, he learned to make himself go.

So I brought floaty suits here for him.  And swim trunks.  He was not pleased at the idea of going without his floaters, but he went.  He hung on to the Woodsman and me, and one moment, he kicked off me and just went.

And just like that, he was swimming!

He doggy paddles, and then puts his face in the water, and brings it up for more of the doggy paddle before putting his face in again. 

I’m sure most of it is from watching his brother in the water. 

Swing has swum distances of over 20’, though he’s afraid to swim for a target that far away.  I have to hold my hands out for him to swim to and back up.  But he does it! 

Cosmo - ‘Coon Hunter

Perhaps I should change Cosmo’s name to ‘Coon.  His middle name is Hunter.  It would fit. 

Tonight, as our bedtime strategy, I took Cosmo on a walk while the Woodsman settled Swing with a movie (the Sandlot… baseball, of course).  Separating the boys typically works best when they are overtired.

So Cosmo and I are walking the grounds of the resort.  It’s a very lovely place, and we feel fortunate to be able to stay here.  At any rate, there’s one building with the top set up for events.  It’s a nice place to view the pool and the ocean.  As we approached the rooftop, I spotted an animal on the ledge of the building.  I pointed it out to Cosmo.  It was cool!  So we get to the rooftop and peek over the wall onto the ledge about 3ish feet below, and there’s the animal—a raccoon, and he’s hissing at us.!  We’re pretty sure it’s a raccoon, anyway, because it could have passed for a prettified possum.  *shudder*  So we cross the rooftop and gaze out at the loveliness, and listen to the waves, the pool fountain, and crickets.  Until we realize the raccoon was brave (read: stupid) enough to jump over the wall/railing from the ledge to “greet us.” 

So we walk calmly and quickly off the rooftop onto the bridge to get back to the walkway. The animal followed us!  Kept following us.  So we started to run.  (I hear these things can be mean, and I have no intention of finding out, or letting my son find out firsthand).  Goofy thing wouldn’t leave us alone.  We ducked into the area deli, and watched it walk away a bit. 

So after we browse the deli (a little mini-mart sort of place in the resort), we decide we’re safe to head back to our room.  We see no sign of the blasted critter.  We turn up to get to our building, and there he is!  He was on a retaining wall, giving us dirty looks.  He was just above Cosmo’s head, and I thought for sure he was going to jump on him.  So we took a different path, and the darn thing follows us some more. 

I had Cosmo stop talking, and instructed him to walk fast and quiet so the animal couldn’t follow us.  That seems to have done the trick.  We got to our building, and the elevator door opened up just as we approached, no animal in sight!

Of course, when we get back into our room and report our safari adventure to The Woodsman, he does not believe us.  Clearly, there are no raccoons in this area.  And clearly, we are unable to identify an animal with rings around it’s eyes, three rings around its tail, and a cat-like body. He knows his animals.   He’ll see.  Though if I’m smart, I’ll put high stakes on the outcome.  :D