Friday, September 11, 2009

It's D-day! Vitamin D!

Three more doses of the vitamin D to go.  Wonder if it's helping?  I guess I'll know in about three months when they check it again.

I shipped the docs today.  I'm done.  I also purchased a Nikon D-60.  I figure I wanted to blow a LITTLE of the severance pay.  I've been wanting a DSLR camera for a long time now.  I haven't had a lot of time to check it out, but what I've seen is amazing.  It's so darn fast!  I love the speed, the clarity and the color!  I can't wait to take the boys out for a photo op this weekend!  I wanted something GOOD and FUN to come of all of this stress and and sadness and change.  This should be a healthy distraction. 

MMMmmm, Wasabi peas.

I was just going to say that I didn't have a bitter thought all day.  I was pleased with that.  But then I remembered that I DID have a bitter thought.  Ah, well... it's waning, and that's what's important.  You know, I think the whole thing would have been easier for me to absorb had it not been performed so impersonally.  The boss's boss tipped back in his chair, played with his cell phone, and recited some speech and left.  It was like he didn't care.  Though in my heart of hearts, I think he DID care.  I think he felt somehow triumphant.  This person is the one I have most of the bitter thoughts about.  I'm struggling with forgiveness.  He was not a good manager.  He was not a competent leader.  He is no longer a relevant part of my life.

I know that ultimately, I'm better off for what happened.  I can't change the past.  I can only plan for the future and make good decisions today.  I'm slowly moving there.  It will happen!  One day, I'll be typing in this blog, and I'll remember that the layoff event inspired me to start writing in a public forum.  And I'll be a different person.  Grown.  Getting there just isn't easy.  But you know what they say, you can't build your muscles without pain.

I am going to face the pain and ugliness and sadness and use it to grow into someone I'm proud of.

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